Letting Go
by ShizuFuji
Summary: Sometimes letting go is the only way to move forward
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I don't own Mai Hime. Sunrise does

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><p><strong>Letting Go<strong>

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><p>"Do you love me at all, Natsuki? Love me in the way that I love you?" Shizuru asked quietly, as she sat beside her best friend on the couch in her home's living-room.<p>

Natsuki fidgeted nervously.

"I'm sorry, Shizuru...I've tried...really! I just...I don't think I can love you in the way you want me to..." Natsuki trailed off softly, while doing her best to look anywhere but at her best friend's anguished face.

Shizuru swallowed painfully around the lump in her throat, trying desperately not to cry.

"It's okay, Natsuki. I knew that at some point I was going to have to let you go. I just...I just wanted to try one last time to see if you could ever love me as I do you."

Natsuki looked up and into Shizuru's garnet-red eyes, that were shimmering with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry, Shizuru..." Natsuki murmured again, before once again dropping her gaze.

"I'll be leaving the country in the morning," Shizuru said softly, casting her own eyes downward.

Natsuki's head snapped up, and she gazed at Shizuru with her mouth hanging slightly open.

"You're leaving me!" Natsuki exclaimed as she unconsciously leaned towards the brunette, not even really realizing what she'd just said.

Shizuru looked back up at Natsuki, and allowed a slightly bitter smile to cross her lips.

"No...no, Natsuki. I'm not leaving _you_. I'll still always be your friend, but I can't continue to stay here in Fuuka any longer. I need to get away from here for a while."

_And from you,_ Shizuru silently thought to herself, as she rose up from the couch and headed for the front door.

"My flight is in the morning, and I need to get some rest. So, I guess this is goodbye for now, Natsuki..." Shizuru trailed off softly, as she stood by the front door to her home with the door opened, silently beckoning Natsuki to go through it.

Natsuki stared in complete shock at her chestnut-haired best friend before she jumped to her feet, and stomped her way over to the front door and slammed it back shut.

"I'm _not_ leaving. And you're going away _tomorrow_? And you're only telling me about it _tonight_? God, Shizuru I thought I was your best friend! How could you decide on something like this, and only spring it on me the night _before_ you leave," Natsuki demanded, with tears glistening in her emerald-green eyes.

Shizuru lightly bit her lip as guilt sliced itself through her chest, as she _felt_ the palpable pain that Natsuki was practically radiating.

"I'm sorry, Natsuki...I had...I had no choice. If I'd told you anytime before now, you might have tried to stop me."

"You're damn right I would have! Where did you plan on running off to, anyways?" Natsuki demanded, as she felt almost like ripping her hair out in frustration.

"I _am_ going to stay with my cousins in America. My aunt and uncle allowed them to move out there a couple years ago, and my cousins have offered to let me stay with them for as long as I want...and need," Shizuru replied, as she turned her head away from her irate best friend, and began making her way to her bedroom.

"And if Natsuki _insists_ on staying then she can use the couch. I'm going to my bed now. My flight leaves at 7am," Shizuru said over her shoulder, before she disappeared down the darkened hallway leading to her room.

Natsuki stood rooted to the spot before the front door, before finally grabbing her head in frustration and letting out an angry cry of "ugh!"

Shizuru leaned her back against her closed bedroom door as she heard Natsuki exclaim in anger, before she allowed her body to slip down the door until she was sitting on her carpeted floor.

Then she cried.

And cried and cried into her hand covering her mouth, her broken-hearted sobs muffled against her palm.

Tomorrow she was leaving Natsuki. And if things worked out as she planned, she would be leaving her love for Natsuki behind as well...forever.

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><p>Liked? Please review and let me know what you guys thought of it. Thanks ^^<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Natsuki watched in pained silence, as Shizuru's plane took off into the bright blue of the early morning sky. A single tear made its way down her cheek before she angrily wiped it away. She then turned and made her way out of the airport, and headed back to the dorm she shared with Mai.

~x~

Shizuru sat in her window seat looking down at the vanishing land of Japan, and her heart thudded painfully, as she whispered a soft "goodbye" to the only girl she had ever truly loved. A single tear made its way down her face, as she leaned her forehead against the window, and watched forlornly as the clouds slipped by.

~x~

Many hours later Shizuru found herself stepping out of the Florida International Airport, and straight into the arms of her two older cousins.

Hikari and Hideki were fraternal twins with hair that was a shade of colour between Shizuru's own chestnut, and a blond that was the colour of her best friend Haruka Suzushiro's.

"Shizuru! Welcome to Florida, honey!" Hideki exclaimed, as he enveloped his younger cousin in a warm embrace. "Honey, we are going to introduce to to all the fun things to do in this land of sun and sand, and get you _over_ this heartbreak you're feeling for this girl back in Fuuka," Hideki continued, as he took Shizuru's suitcase from her hands.

Shizuru smiled softly at her excitable cousin and nodded, as she felt Hikari slip her arm through hers.

"Translated, my brother intends to take you to ever gay and lesbian club and party he can, to 'introduce' you to the locals and get you into the Florida lifestyle," Hikari laughed as she led Shizuru over to her and her brother's sleek car. It was a sky-blue Chevy Camero with black racing stripes running down the sides, front and back of the car. Shizuru found herself admiring the car, as Natsuki had inspired within her an appreciation of hot and sexy-looking cars and bikes.

At the mere thought of the girl she had left behind in Japan, Shizuru's heart clenched and she had to take in a few deep breaths to calm herself back down.

Hikari noticed her younger cousin's distress, and she easily pinpointed what the cause was. Shizuru had after all called her and Hideki up at the end of her graduation to ask them if she could come stay with them for a while. She said she had to get over the feelings she had for a girl, who unfortunately could never love her the way she wanted.

Hikari had felt for her cousin, as she herself had been through something similar when she was younger, with a girl she had once also thought was her whole world. That girl had unfortunately gone off and married her best male friend, and it was only through the love and support of her brother, and close relatives like Shizuru that she had been able to get over her heartache. So Hikari would do anything and everything within her power to help her dear younger cousin get over her own heartache.

But both she and her brother would have been extremely happy to have Shizuru come stay with them no matter the reason. The three of them were great friends as well as cousins, and even though they hardly got to see each other, they always had a great time whenever they were able to get together.

And now Shizuru was going to be staying with them for a while! Hikari and Hideki had great plans for their younger cousin, to both put the happy smile they had grown up seeing and that was now sorely missing, back on Shizuru's face. And to give their cousin a chance to experience a new and exciting part of the world.

"I know you're English must be as good as ours, as it was a language you always did enjoy learning growing up," Hideki said as she placed Shizuru's suitcase into the trunk of the car.

Shizuru nodded as she slipped into the passenger side seat of the car, while Hideki slipped into the driver's seat, and Hikari climbed into the back seat. They all buckled themselves in and then Hideki inserted the key, turned the engine, shifted the car into Drive, and pulled away from the front of the airport. The top of the car slipped down to reveal the Camero was one of the new convertible models, and Shizuru couldn't help the small smile of excitement that pulled at her lips, as the wind swept passed her face. She felt more free now than she had in a very long time.

Maybe...just maybe...she would be able to get over her feelings for the midnight-blue haired girl on this trip after all.

~x~

Natsuki mumbled miserably, as she mashed buttons on the controller of her videogame. She wasn't really even paying attention to the fight she was supposedly trying to win on the screen. Her mind was really thousands of miles away with a chestnut-haired beauty, who Natsuki felt had all but run away from her. She just couldn't get Shizuru out of her mind, and she almost couldn't forgive the brunette for running out on her.

_Almost._

Natsuki wasn't an idiot. She understood why Shizuru had down what she had done. She was trying to get over Natsuki. And as much as Natsuki tried to deny it to herself, she felt...hurt...that Shizuru was trying to cut those feelings she had for her out of her heart. But Natsuki also knew that she was being selfish towards Shizuru. She wanted the honey-haired girl to stay and love and care for her, yet Natsuki couldn't...or _wouldn't_...allow herself to do the same. Oh, she cared deeply about Shizuru. Natsuki could readily admit that to herself. But now that Shizuru had actually left...now that she had physically _walked away_ from her...Natsuki felt like her whole world had just tilted up on its axis. Nothing felt 'right' anymore. There was no real joy or pleasure in anything she did anymore.

It had been more than a week since Shizuru had left, and Natsuki was even beginning to annoy Mai with all the moping around their dorm she had been doing. It was the summer before classes once again resumed. The last year of high school she would have to attend, and she wasn't spending it doing much of anything at all.

Natsuki wanted Shizuru back.

She wanted her best friend back _physically_ in her life.

Natsuki _knew_ she was being selfish. How could she ask Shizuru to continue being here for her, when she wasn't readily offering the older girl what she truly wanted?

The old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, had never had such a powerfully true meaning for Natsuki before this moment. She _needed_ Shizuru. It was like a flower needing air and water to continue living. Shizuru had become, without Natsuki even consciously knowing or realizing it, her air and water to continue functioning happily in this world.

She needed her Shizuru back. And she was going to do _everything_ within her power to do so.

Even if it meant somehow getting to America, and bringing back her chestnut-haired best friend herself.

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><p>Thank you to those who took the time to read and review my first chapter. You helped inspire me to continue this fic. I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter, and please review to let me know what you thought of it ^^<p> 


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